Hello God.

I thank you that I have a wonderful family, That you have a helped me find a job and are helping me do that job to the best of my ability.  I thank you that I have R who loves me and wants to care for me.  I thank you that I am healthy.  

I just wish I was happy.

• I am not happy because R does not want to spend time with me.  I am not happy because that no matter what I do R is never happy in fact most the time he is always mad at me.  I do so much for him but it never seems enough he is always angry R thinks I want back with M back how obserd is that?  Why would I want someone back that would cheat on me.  Why would I want someone back that would lie to me? Why would I want someone back that would not value me as a person.  
• I am not happy because no matter what R says things never change.  He says he will start spending time with me.  That never happens.  He says he will stop with his impulse buying that never stops.  He says he will stop smoking that never stops.  
• I am not happy because R lies to me.  He denies that which is yet another lie.  
• I am not happy because C my son is in trouble I am not sure if they will press charges on him this time but he is in trouble.  R is mad because I coddle the boy.  I figured in this situation the situation was hard enough.  
• I am not happy because I feel alone.  

I pray that you could fix things so that I can be happy again.  

I know I don't deserve your help.  I barely read the Bible.  I barely talk to you.  I am hoping this blog will help with that part.  I don't know what to do.  

Another area of concern is right up your alley I guess.  R has us going to the Jehovah witness church.  "mainstream" religion says they are an occult.  The JW's say that "mainstream" worshipers are demon worshiping.  I can see the reasons for both sides really and torn as to what I am supposed to do.  Who is really right who is really wrong.  I just don't know.  Please help.